Sunday, August 31, 2014


      Back in '73, the sighting and prediction of Comet Kohoutek and the promise of it's fantastic nighttime visual display, stirred up many an imagination. Mine was one of them. Me and my sidekick and best friend, Bob Appleholm were preparing to do something crazy for it's arrival. We planned to go brave the elements of winter and climb up Mt. Everett, the highest in the Berkshires, so as to observe the fantastic, predicted visual display. It was the middle of winter, but youthful spirits and nature lovers like my friend Bob and I, would not be swayed or thwarted from our quest to camp out and view this once in a lifetime event. That's at least until we found out that the mountain was covered in 6 inches of solid ice and was impossible to climb or even get close to the lean-tow where we were going to set up camp. We were highly disappointed with this outcome, so I decided to have a Comet Party at my family's house in Brewster.
       I invited all my friends from Seton College in the city and a few more friends from Brewster. The gang from Seton showed up early and we started partying in the early evening. This girl Vickie, brought some Peppermint Schnapps, which I never had indulged in, but nonetheless I joined her in finishing the whole bottle. It was still early and I was already really tanked. The news of the grand party apparently was getting around and more people were arriving from town. The upstairs part of the house was normally rented, but we were in between tenants, so the whole house was empty. The phone upstairs was not connected to it's old number, but worked nonetheless. Long distance was free and people were taking turns making calls to anywhere they wanted to. A free phone! Yahoo! The party was yet getting bigger and I was getting more and more screwed up and wasted on that sweet Schnapps. I asked my friend Bob to take care of things for me as I went to lay down for a while. I went to the back bedroom and leaned into a gentle fall. The room was spinning and I couldn't focus on anything, so I closed my eyes. That's all I remember, as the party went raging on.
        The rest of what happened that night was historical. Apparently everyone in town got the grapevine news and showed up, invited or not. I heard that there must have been well over a hundred party animals at my house when the cops arrived. My friend Bob apparently handled everything with true grit and the party disbursed without anyone getting arrested. They must have scattered like cockroaches when the fuzz arrived. It was a miracle that I, or anyone else didn't get in any trouble, being there were under aged drinkers and lots of weed and illegal drugs being consumed that evening. I slept through the biggest party I ever threw and woke up to a giant headache and a huge mess, which was in the process of being cleaned up by my good friends that next morning.                          I can only say that the comet's arrival wound up being a dud, but the historical party that manifested from this celestial event, was one for the records and will be remembered by many. I not being one of them.

         Stay thirsty my friends                 Wizzzmo

Thursday, August 21, 2014


     Heat rises high, while cold just gets down.
     Almost everybody wishes they were Italian, except the Sicilians.
     The dark side of the moon isn't always dark.
     One is the loneliest number you will ever do.
     It once was drinking and gambling. Now it's beverages and gaming.
     It once was your fault. Now it's my bad. (gimme a break)
     They once loved the Teletubbies. Now they walk the streets. TELEZOMBIES
   I wanna find me a girl that don't have a phone.
     One that laughs at my jokes and loves to get stoned.
    And when we make love, we'll be in the zone,
      'cause I got me a girl that don't have a phone.

   I wanna find me a girl that don't have a phone.
      One that's real, real, rich and lives all alone.
     And when we hear bells, it won't be a ring-tone,
       'cause I got me a girl that don't have a phone.
         Yea! I got me a girl that don't have a phone.

     Oh yea! One more fact. Ding Dongs kicked ass on Twinkies.

    Stay informed my friends        Wizzzmo

Tuesday, August 19, 2014


      A new comic strip by WIZZZMO is coming in September. CRABS FROM OUTER SPACE, is an artful satire filled with humor pertaining to our modern day issues in the great northwest and throughout the world. Crabby Hoffman, Crab Calloway, Mini The Smoocher, Buster Crab and Lenny Crabitz, are the stars amongst an array of others. Transdimensional teleportation and other theoretical phenomena are also a key in this satire.
      The legalization of marijuana in Oregon will be up for vote this November. These crabs are all for it. They have been recently decimating our cannabis crops for survival and the more we grow, the more nourishment they have for fuel, food and attitude. On their planet hemp is used for everything, but does not provide the euphoria they experience while decimating our crops. That's why they are here. To get high! But don't eat their legs or.............Hey wait! I think I'm giving too much information away.
       Like my head minion SUN-MARKO would say, (ANYWAY), keep checking in for CRABS FROM OUTER SPACE. They're gonna get right in your face.

       Don't forget to vote, come November, my friends         Wizzzmo

Friday, August 15, 2014


       Well,he road into town about a quarter to nine,
   he had dust on his clothes and hate in his mind
       His guns were hot and his brain was fried.
    He'd kill that man if he found him inside.
       The man that left him to die.

       The horse he was riding, was one he had found,
    after walking 20 miles in the hot desert ground
        The sun had dried up his open wound.
    The sky was now lit by the moon,
         as he walked towards the saloon

        Well, the doors swung open and he walked on in
     he had the eyes of a devil and a scar on his chin.
         Everyone knew there was death in the air,
      as Pedro rose up from his chair,
          his eyes were filled with fear.

        Well, he shook and he trembled and he started to run,
     but in a split seconds time Frank had emptied his gun.
         All that remained on the barroom floor,
     was one dead rat, not to steal no more,
          as Frank walked out the door.

        The streets were a filled with wondering minds,
      would they see justice or another crime.
          The light shinned down on Frank's face of stone,
        They knew that he'd be going home,
           back where he belonged.

       So on the next day a wagon rode out of town
     to the hill where Pedro would be laid in the ground.
          He wanted all to here, so the Preacher had yelled!
       "Steal not your fortune in another man's wealth,
           It might be bad for your health."

        Stay thirsty my friends          Wizzzmo

Sunday, August 10, 2014


      A couple score and two or three years ago, on a night something like this one. On a warm night, the night of the August full moon, just seemed like the perfect time for me and four of my cohorts to take some LSD and go do some nighttime nature tripping. One of the group claimed he knew where an old pioneer graveyard was, but you had to go across a long pasture and over one of the many pioneer erected walls that are strewn all across upstate N.Y., then into bushes taller then us to find this overgrown cemetery and it's gravestones. This sounded awesome, so we all dropped a tab of some barrel acid and got into my car to find these very old, hidden burial grounds.
      We drove towards Carmel, just about 10 miles out of Brewster. Then down some old back roads and found a place to park on the side of the road. The sky was brightly lit by the full moon and flashlights were not needed to see. The meadow was a pale grayish silver and we all started briskly walking, then running towards the stone wall in the distance. After that 1,000ft dash, we came upon a wall of placed stones. This stacked stone wall was long and surrounded the pasture we had just ran through. Now it was time to hop over the wall and start searching for whatever we could find. The LSD in our systems was flowing fast as we maneuvered over the wall one by one. The thick bushes, we were now in, made it hard to see anybody else, but we could hear each other and that was good enough, until one of the guys shouted out! " I found a grave." We all met up where Chris, who had yelled from the area of his find and were now finding a few more headstones amidst the many tall bushes. One of the dates read, that the women had died in the early 1700's and that she had been very old at the time of her passing. This made her born in the early 1600's. This was all so fascinating to me. These were some old forgotten graves that we were walking amongst, tripping our brains out on that night of the August full moon. Then.......,and this was really fucked up, this little asshole pushes over one of the gravestones! Holy shit! Everybody was freaking out over what this asshole had just done. Sacrilege! Then...there came a shrilling scream in the distance. A girls scream! We were all freaked out and what Chris had just done, but worse yet, the scream of a girl in the not so far distance, was even more frightening. We didn't know which way was up, as we went to investigate the origin of the scream. We came upon a house that was located down a steep slope and could see a screen door, from where a light was shinning and nothing much more. That's when the door abruptly opened and a man with a shotgun stood in the opening. He shouted, " Who's up there?" We were scared shitless and remained quiet and hidden, only about 100ft away, until Chris answered, " Nobody up here but us ghosts." That's when the man let his dog out. My feet were finding it hard to get traction, after all, I was running faster than Freddy Flintstone. Then, Chicky pushed me out of his way in trying to vamoose, I fell over a boulder, but was quick to get back up and scrambled back into the bushes and avoided the K-9 assault.  
        We were now back in the burial grounds again. The burial grounds that we so sacredly violated, before we heard that scream. It felt like we were trapped in a labyrinth of bushes, not knowing which way was out. When suddenly, we heard a sound. It sounded like a beeping space probe. Then, it started getting louder and louder and seemed to be coming right at us. Beep-beep..........beep....beep. We knew in our hearts we had disturbed some spirit and it was gonna get us. We were naturally confused from all the erratic steps which we had taken in our meandering about these hidden burial grounds and then the scream which lead us astray and now, we were being stalked by something unholy. Which way to go? It got more and more intense, as we got more and more confused. I then suggested that we follow the moon and eventually we will find the wall and get out of here. We hacked through the bushes with fear that the provoked spirit was gonna get us and punish us for the deeds we had done. Louder and louder and seemingly on our heels it was. The bushes started thinning and then the stone wall appeared. The sound of the beeping had gotten to the point where we were all overtaken with fear and were running for our lives. As we frantically  climbed over the wall the sound suddenly stopped. With all of us scared out of our wits, we then ran as fast as we could across that pasture and back to my car. We were all out of breath and now flying down the road at dangerous speeds, so as to get as far away from our LSD enhanced encounter with a pissed off spirit. This was very disturbing to me and my good friend Bob, who was part of this shotty posy. We were both brought up to respect the living and the dead and were both ashamed and embarrassed to be part of this disrespectful deed. 
      The gang had left and only me and Bob remained at my hideaway in Brewster. First daylight was coming on and we both were still tripping pretty heavily. We went in the backyard, which was now covered in an eerie, early morning, misty fog. We sat down in the grass, damp with dew and bubbling with life. I was in the midst of observing some microscopic worlds within and was watching life as it existed between the grass blades below me. Bob was sitting up erect with his eyes closed, feeling the millions of misty dewdrops on his cheeks. Only on LSD does one get these sensations of heightened awareness. This is the essence of life and we were experiencing some of it's fantastic rewards, right there in my backyard, on my lawn. I guess you can say we were at a high level of consciousness. That's when it came back. The disturbed spirit which we had left at the cemetery was now in my backyard. It somehow found us. The intermittent beeping sound started getting louder again. We were freaked! We decided to turn to God to help us send this spirit back to it's resting place. It was seemingly in our laps, when our thoughts of God became stronger and stronger. Within a few shattering moments of uncertainty, it was then gone. The beeping sound had disappeared from our ears. The spirit was appeased and sent back to it's grave. Bob and I were back at ease, knowing that the entity was gone from our realm of reality.
       I never to this day ever heard that sound again and hope I never do.

       Stay worthy to yourselves my friends          Wizzzmo

Saturday, August 2, 2014


     So this cop pulled over my uncle Luigi just last week. Man, he had a hard time telling the cop where he lived. He kept saying upper U.S., meaning to him, upstate N.Y. The cop kept hearing up-a-your-ass. You could see a problem was brewing. Luckily a passer-bye overheard the exchange and shouted, "Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog" The cop was stunned by this palindromic phrase and immediately deferred his attention to the stranger, in which upon doing so, gave my clever uncle time enough to slap his own palindrome back at the unsuspected cop. He shouted, "Live on time, emit no evil" The cop didn't know if he was coming or going and walked off muttering some weird palindromic names, like Bob, Hannah, Eve and Otto. Wow, that was a close call.
      My uncle was so thankful to the stranger for intervening and saving his poor immigrant ass from the law. They went for donuts and coffee and joked around, saying how the cops eyes were glazed and confused. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!  

       Keep on the sunny side my friends             Wizzzmo