Dear friends, I would like to tell you a funny story that happened to me just the other day. This is my bonehead, stoned-head, oops, oh shit, panic shuffle drive through the streets, search for my stash in a random dumpster, that I had no idea where it was, adventure up in Portland the other evening.
I had just been to my friend Diane's for some of her stuffed grape leaves in which she uses the grape leaves in her own backyard, then, she puts together a yummy combo of meat, rice and veggies and serves it hot with a special yogurt, herbs and cucumber sauce. It was a stoner's delight.
I had just scored some weed earlier at the dispensary and was going to meet a friend who wanted to help sample some product while we meandered through the side streets of the general neighborhood. I cruised slowly with him through side streets, randomly making turns at will and feeling my way sensitively, through the labyrinth of life's path. This is one of my specialties. We spoke and exchanged stories of our previous week and just as I randomly turned a corner, I saw a dumpster just to my left. What luck! I had an empty container, some cups and some fast food bags. What a great place to unload these trash items. I through the container and the cups with decent velocity and they landed in the middle or this 6ft. dumpster. I also noticed a white bag and assumed it was a McDonald's bag, in which I gave it the heave-ho. It landed just short of falling right back at me, but it stayed up and I was out of there. We continued cruising the neighborhoods for about another 15 minutes, but it was time for me to boogie on down the road, so I drove my friend back to his car and started driving home. My friend had so precariously dropped a bud and in looking for it turned up zilch. However, during the short search for the bud I sensed some absence and then it became crystal. The bag that contained an ounce of my weed, was the white one that I last through in the dumpster. Holy Shit! Panic set in quick. I called my friend and he would not answer. I called about four or five times before I knew that I was now on my own and started franticly driving to go find my stash. I had about a thirty block by ten block grid to search. It was not going to be easy. I knew that the street went east to west, so I traveled north to south, looking up and down, up and down. For a while there was nothing. Then! Up ahead! There it was in the distance, about three blocks away. I hurried, only to see the bag where I last through it, in the dumpster, about six feet high, with a backdrop of the sky. Rejoice, rejoice! My stash is back where it belongs, with me. Yahoo! I tried to call my friend to tell him of my bonehead play of the week, but he still doesn't answer. He never answers. I hate his stupid recording and if I ever have to hear it again, it will be too soon.
Answer your phone my friend Wizzzmo
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Saturday, July 26, 2014
BLUEBERRY PANCAKES
I ordered some blueberry pancakes the other day for breakfast. They say that blueberries are loaded with healing anti-occident's and help fight off dangerous diseases to the human body. The waitress, upon delivering the order asked if everything was alright. I looked down, only to notice that there were no blueberries in my pancakes." Hello! " I said. " There are no blueberries in my pancakes." She was apologetic and said she would take care of the mistake and bring them back to the kitchen. After all, pancakes with no blueberries are just an occident waiting to happen. (rim shot) Ha! Ha! Ha!! Ha Ha!
Be insured my friends, eat your blueberries. Wizzzmo
Be insured my friends, eat your blueberries. Wizzzmo
Thursday, July 24, 2014
COMING SOON! CRABS FROM OUTER SPACE
Stay tunned my friends Wizzzmo
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
AN OREGON COUNTRY FAIR - LOVE AFFAIR
Since 1977, I have been going to the Oregon Country Fair. At the beginning, my fair experiences were enhanced by the core of beautiful people that attended this remarkable yearly event. I had a magic bubble that I blew around my van every time I entered the fair. I would float softly and unnoticed past everyone and answer all questions with the right words to get me to the next point and beyond, till I came to a spot under the shade of this beautiful tree in crafts parking. There, I would set up camp for me and my dog Ryan. The shade was necessary for my K-9 buddy and gave me peace of mind while exploring my new home. Fantastic times and vivacious memories of the music, the costumes and the beautiful women that I met, will always be imprinted in my brain. One of these women would sweep me off my feet and we would leave the fair together. Our predestined meeting at the barter circle would spark an Oregon Country Fair love affair from which I would never recover.
This year I brought my 36ft. school bus, all decked out with seven beautiful air-brushed paintings of Mt. Hood, ocean scenes, a covered bridge and Timothy Lake, all of which were displayed on two sides and the back of my bus. I had just designed one of my Just Say Mo' T-shirts and was having a great time trading them at the barter circle, when Pam, who I had met earlier in the fair, wanted the T-shirt off my back. She had that look in her eyes that she might want more than my shirt, so I happily obliged her and took it off and gave it to her. We hung around each other for the next couple of hours and then, after lots of conversation, we realized that it would be great for her and I to just leave the fair and go on a spontaneous adventure together. I was an old pro at this spontaneity stuff, after all, my specialty in life was being a free spirit, always following the path ahead of me and seeking my destiny and dreams beyond the horizon that lye up ahead. Let's just go for it, being my motto. So we did.
We spent our honeymoon in a Salem motel where we sanctified our spontaneous passionate love affair with a night of romance and release. The O.C.F. was the spring that sprung the fling that sent us hurling into the lofty clouds, where we would continue floating for days. We went through the Columbia River George and across the Bridge Of The Gods and then back to the Oregon Coast just digging on each other's company and making plans for our future. I knew it was love when upon waking up one morning, I was nibbling at her ears affectionately and noticed there was something in them. "Pam, what's that in your ears" I spoke. She started laughing and then told me she had put gum in her ears to muffle the sound of my snoring. I thought to myself, this must be love. I've been a snoring bear all my life, furry and hard to sleep in the same room with, but she said she would be able to cope with this problem, so all was fine with our continuing romance. She then told me that she worked at the food co-op in Arcata, California and needed to get back down there being she had never called work to let them know why she wasn't there. While on our way to California we passed through Lincoln City to drop off my bus and take my van, being it was easier to drive and it also got better gas mileage. Upon introducing her to my friends, I kidded around that we had been married and were on our honeymoon. A few of them went for it, after all, we were in love and on our way to Arcata to put her stuff in storage, so we may drive into the sunset hand in hand and follow our dreams of love and travel. Everything was wonderful. Little did we know, but we were soon to find out that she had been reported as a missing person and her friends and family were not knowing of her whereabouts. After a few calls, we cleared everything up with her loved ones and were now, not being sought after by the law. We had no idea of this threat of being arrested and just chalked it up to being irresponsible lovers, still floating in those lofty clouds of love. We continued our journey south to move her stuff out of her house and into storage. She had quit her job and got her check and we were now just putting the finishing touches on our future plans.
We spent a couple of days cleaning the house and discussing a few discrepancies that we had. I was in favor of taking the van, where she preferred the bus. I had previously been on a bus trip to Santa Cruz, which was a trip from hell and had experienced lots of anguish and remorse on that initial launching of my bus. We came across our first disagreement and dilemma, but I convinced her that the van was the best choice. At least that's what I thought I had done.
The next day we were invited to a party that her friends were throwing for her, being she was leaving. Kind of a going away party, you might say. I was not feeling very social that day and chose to hang out in the back yard near the garden. I must not have made a very good impression with her friends and I think her friends must have wondered why she was with me at all. I was not your stereotypical good looking guy and was about six years older than her. At least it seemed that way to me, because on our way back to the house she said she wanted to just sleep alone that evening. It was like taking a giant step down from the cloud I had been on for the 11 previous days. It was like I had been stabbed with a dagger. Devastation set in. My fantasy was ripped to shreds, I was in shock and not knowing what went wrong. For most of the evening I could not sleep wondering what was happening to my Oregon Country Fair, love affair. Was it just another love affair? Was it over? Now what's gonna happen? In the morning when I awoke, the feeling that encapsulated our Country Fair romance was not the same. Questions of our future romantic continuance seemed to have already been answered. We both knew it was over. Holy shit! She quit her job, moved into storage and was now homeless and without a job or a plan and there I was in Arcata not knowing what to do. What a whirlwind! At least it was still summertime. She learned that her sister was going to visit their folks and would meet her and give her a ride south to L.A. in a couple of days. I, feeling the sudden emptiness in my heart, would return to Oregon and maybe try to understand just what happened that day of the party. We had strangely, in the space of only a few hours, come down from the lofty clouds we had so lovingly inhabited, only to crash land in the harsh reality of life's uncertainty. What a ride we had been on. I didn't know what to think, only that it was over and it was time to move on down that path that lye ahead. So it was me and my trusty dog Ryan, hitting the lonely road once again, traveling on. We exchanged some numbers and I tried to get in touch with her through one of them at a later date, but was unsuccessful. I never seen her again, but was happy to have been part of an amazing love affair and romantic adventure that started at one of the most magical, mystical places on earth, The Oregon Country Fair.
The Oregon Country Fair is still making dreams come to life.
Live the love my friends Wizzzmo
This year I brought my 36ft. school bus, all decked out with seven beautiful air-brushed paintings of Mt. Hood, ocean scenes, a covered bridge and Timothy Lake, all of which were displayed on two sides and the back of my bus. I had just designed one of my Just Say Mo' T-shirts and was having a great time trading them at the barter circle, when Pam, who I had met earlier in the fair, wanted the T-shirt off my back. She had that look in her eyes that she might want more than my shirt, so I happily obliged her and took it off and gave it to her. We hung around each other for the next couple of hours and then, after lots of conversation, we realized that it would be great for her and I to just leave the fair and go on a spontaneous adventure together. I was an old pro at this spontaneity stuff, after all, my specialty in life was being a free spirit, always following the path ahead of me and seeking my destiny and dreams beyond the horizon that lye up ahead. Let's just go for it, being my motto. So we did.
We spent our honeymoon in a Salem motel where we sanctified our spontaneous passionate love affair with a night of romance and release. The O.C.F. was the spring that sprung the fling that sent us hurling into the lofty clouds, where we would continue floating for days. We went through the Columbia River George and across the Bridge Of The Gods and then back to the Oregon Coast just digging on each other's company and making plans for our future. I knew it was love when upon waking up one morning, I was nibbling at her ears affectionately and noticed there was something in them. "Pam, what's that in your ears" I spoke. She started laughing and then told me she had put gum in her ears to muffle the sound of my snoring. I thought to myself, this must be love. I've been a snoring bear all my life, furry and hard to sleep in the same room with, but she said she would be able to cope with this problem, so all was fine with our continuing romance. She then told me that she worked at the food co-op in Arcata, California and needed to get back down there being she had never called work to let them know why she wasn't there. While on our way to California we passed through Lincoln City to drop off my bus and take my van, being it was easier to drive and it also got better gas mileage. Upon introducing her to my friends, I kidded around that we had been married and were on our honeymoon. A few of them went for it, after all, we were in love and on our way to Arcata to put her stuff in storage, so we may drive into the sunset hand in hand and follow our dreams of love and travel. Everything was wonderful. Little did we know, but we were soon to find out that she had been reported as a missing person and her friends and family were not knowing of her whereabouts. After a few calls, we cleared everything up with her loved ones and were now, not being sought after by the law. We had no idea of this threat of being arrested and just chalked it up to being irresponsible lovers, still floating in those lofty clouds of love. We continued our journey south to move her stuff out of her house and into storage. She had quit her job and got her check and we were now just putting the finishing touches on our future plans.
We spent a couple of days cleaning the house and discussing a few discrepancies that we had. I was in favor of taking the van, where she preferred the bus. I had previously been on a bus trip to Santa Cruz, which was a trip from hell and had experienced lots of anguish and remorse on that initial launching of my bus. We came across our first disagreement and dilemma, but I convinced her that the van was the best choice. At least that's what I thought I had done.
The next day we were invited to a party that her friends were throwing for her, being she was leaving. Kind of a going away party, you might say. I was not feeling very social that day and chose to hang out in the back yard near the garden. I must not have made a very good impression with her friends and I think her friends must have wondered why she was with me at all. I was not your stereotypical good looking guy and was about six years older than her. At least it seemed that way to me, because on our way back to the house she said she wanted to just sleep alone that evening. It was like taking a giant step down from the cloud I had been on for the 11 previous days. It was like I had been stabbed with a dagger. Devastation set in. My fantasy was ripped to shreds, I was in shock and not knowing what went wrong. For most of the evening I could not sleep wondering what was happening to my Oregon Country Fair, love affair. Was it just another love affair? Was it over? Now what's gonna happen? In the morning when I awoke, the feeling that encapsulated our Country Fair romance was not the same. Questions of our future romantic continuance seemed to have already been answered. We both knew it was over. Holy shit! She quit her job, moved into storage and was now homeless and without a job or a plan and there I was in Arcata not knowing what to do. What a whirlwind! At least it was still summertime. She learned that her sister was going to visit their folks and would meet her and give her a ride south to L.A. in a couple of days. I, feeling the sudden emptiness in my heart, would return to Oregon and maybe try to understand just what happened that day of the party. We had strangely, in the space of only a few hours, come down from the lofty clouds we had so lovingly inhabited, only to crash land in the harsh reality of life's uncertainty. What a ride we had been on. I didn't know what to think, only that it was over and it was time to move on down that path that lye ahead. So it was me and my trusty dog Ryan, hitting the lonely road once again, traveling on. We exchanged some numbers and I tried to get in touch with her through one of them at a later date, but was unsuccessful. I never seen her again, but was happy to have been part of an amazing love affair and romantic adventure that started at one of the most magical, mystical places on earth, The Oregon Country Fair.
The Oregon Country Fair is still making dreams come to life.
Live the love my friends Wizzzmo
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
UFO SIGHTING ( 2 ) LIGHT CYLINDERS
During the third week of June, I would always have to drive across the state of Oregon to get to my destination, which was, Weiser, Idaho, for the Old Time Fiddlers contest, a yearly party gathering area for me and my friends. The hot day time temperatures would always keep me from traveling during daylight hours, so, a couple hours after sunset, I would leave my friend Bill's house in Bend and start driving into the night. I was doing a favor for this guy Pete, by taking him along with me. He was just going to the other end of the state to see his girl, where I would drop him off and then it would just be me and my co-pilot, Ryan, my first dog and traveling companion, from there on out.
After leaving the small town of Ironside we were in a stretch of no man's land, on the night of the new moon. Man was it dark, but cooler than the daylight sun, which would have been the other alternative. I get lost in myself on these long and desolate drives and was trancing out, with my mind in a far off space, when the first mind blowing visual occurred.
Suddenly, from about 150 feet away, appeared a colored cylinder of light, in the shape of a stage light. It was yellow and seemed to retract as quick as it appeared. I yelled to Pete! "Did you see that?" But Pete was zonked out and didn't even wake up. I shook him and in a frenzy explained what I just saw. I was hyped and he was lethargic and he conked back out. A few minutes went by and again!.... This time closer and with a reddish hue, a cylinder seemed to appear and retract, just like a tractor beam would do on Star Trek. Again, I yelled," Pete, did you see that?" He was groggy but was not gonna go back to sleep this time, I made sure of that. I was freaking out and telling him what was going on outside, when another one appeared. This one was orange and Pete was awake and now freaking out right along with me. We continued on without stopping and with eyes wide open and necks outstretched, we waited for something else to happen. The dark night brought only questions. What the heck did I just experience? Were the lights from an alien spaceship, beaming up some desert life for study? Were the lights meant for me, but they missed their target? Where were they coming from? I'll maybe never know. With great anticipation we continued on our journey, but nothing else unexplainable would happen that night. However, about thirty minutes later we would be treated with an unusual display of the Northern Lights. From far on the northern horizon, appeared a modest display, which would then pose a question in my mind. Did they, have anything to do with what I saw? The obvious answer was no, they couldn't have. What I saw was close, bright and vividly unforgettable.
I dropped Pete off and was now ready for some kick ass music and get down partying. Weiser would again provide the party and kicking musical ass..... Well, yours truly would help with that.
I've traveled over a million and a half land miles and this is the only time I had ever experienced this unexplainable phenomena. I've seen a lot and will be writing on more of my experiences and adventures throughout the rest of the year. I can only hope to captivate you soon, in another one of my true life stories. Till then, stay free and enjoy the adventure of life.
Stay thirsty my friends Wizzzmo
After leaving the small town of Ironside we were in a stretch of no man's land, on the night of the new moon. Man was it dark, but cooler than the daylight sun, which would have been the other alternative. I get lost in myself on these long and desolate drives and was trancing out, with my mind in a far off space, when the first mind blowing visual occurred.
Suddenly, from about 150 feet away, appeared a colored cylinder of light, in the shape of a stage light. It was yellow and seemed to retract as quick as it appeared. I yelled to Pete! "Did you see that?" But Pete was zonked out and didn't even wake up. I shook him and in a frenzy explained what I just saw. I was hyped and he was lethargic and he conked back out. A few minutes went by and again!.... This time closer and with a reddish hue, a cylinder seemed to appear and retract, just like a tractor beam would do on Star Trek. Again, I yelled," Pete, did you see that?" He was groggy but was not gonna go back to sleep this time, I made sure of that. I was freaking out and telling him what was going on outside, when another one appeared. This one was orange and Pete was awake and now freaking out right along with me. We continued on without stopping and with eyes wide open and necks outstretched, we waited for something else to happen. The dark night brought only questions. What the heck did I just experience? Were the lights from an alien spaceship, beaming up some desert life for study? Were the lights meant for me, but they missed their target? Where were they coming from? I'll maybe never know. With great anticipation we continued on our journey, but nothing else unexplainable would happen that night. However, about thirty minutes later we would be treated with an unusual display of the Northern Lights. From far on the northern horizon, appeared a modest display, which would then pose a question in my mind. Did they, have anything to do with what I saw? The obvious answer was no, they couldn't have. What I saw was close, bright and vividly unforgettable.
I dropped Pete off and was now ready for some kick ass music and get down partying. Weiser would again provide the party and kicking musical ass..... Well, yours truly would help with that.
I've traveled over a million and a half land miles and this is the only time I had ever experienced this unexplainable phenomena. I've seen a lot and will be writing on more of my experiences and adventures throughout the rest of the year. I can only hope to captivate you soon, in another one of my true life stories. Till then, stay free and enjoy the adventure of life.
Stay thirsty my friends Wizzzmo
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