Dear friends, I would like to tell you a funny story that happened to me just the other day. This is my bonehead, stoned-head, oops, oh shit, panic shuffle drive through the streets, search for my stash in a random dumpster, that I had no idea where it was, adventure up in Portland the other evening.
I had just been to my friend Diane's for some of her stuffed grape leaves in which she uses the grape leaves in her own backyard, then, she puts together a yummy combo of meat, rice and veggies and serves it hot with a special yogurt, herbs and cucumber sauce. It was a stoner's delight.
I had just scored some weed earlier at the dispensary and was going to meet a friend who wanted to help sample some product while we meandered through the side streets of the general neighborhood. I cruised slowly with him through side streets, randomly making turns at will and feeling my way sensitively, through the labyrinth of life's path. This is one of my specialties. We spoke and exchanged stories of our previous week and just as I randomly turned a corner, I saw a dumpster just to my left. What luck! I had an empty container, some cups and some fast food bags. What a great place to unload these trash items. I through the container and the cups with decent velocity and they landed in the middle or this 6ft. dumpster. I also noticed a white bag and assumed it was a McDonald's bag, in which I gave it the heave-ho. It landed just short of falling right back at me, but it stayed up and I was out of there. We continued cruising the neighborhoods for about another 15 minutes, but it was time for me to boogie on down the road, so I drove my friend back to his car and started driving home. My friend had so precariously dropped a bud and in looking for it turned up zilch. However, during the short search for the bud I sensed some absence and then it became crystal. The bag that contained an ounce of my weed, was the white one that I last through in the dumpster. Holy Shit! Panic set in quick. I called my friend and he would not answer. I called about four or five times before I knew that I was now on my own and started franticly driving to go find my stash. I had about a thirty block by ten block grid to search. It was not going to be easy. I knew that the street went east to west, so I traveled north to south, looking up and down, up and down. For a while there was nothing. Then! Up ahead! There it was in the distance, about three blocks away. I hurried, only to see the bag where I last through it, in the dumpster, about six feet high, with a backdrop of the sky. Rejoice, rejoice! My stash is back where it belongs, with me. Yahoo! I tried to call my friend to tell him of my bonehead play of the week, but he still doesn't answer. He never answers. I hate his stupid recording and if I ever have to hear it again, it will be too soon.
Answer your phone my friend Wizzzmo