In a pirates voice....
Over the river and right past your nuts
There lyes the land of the turkey butts
So slice up the gizzards
And pass me the guts
'cause we're in the land of the turkey butts
Rip off a leg
Slice up the breast
Let the dogs devour the rest
The stomach, The liver
The neck and the nuts
Yes we're in the land of the turkey butts
we're in the land of the turkey butts
This is the land of the turkey butts
Stay hungry my friends Wizzzmo
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
THE NINE OF DIAMONDS ( Poker )
I've been playing the game of poker nearly all of my life. As children of an Italian family, my sister and I played poker all the time. I started playing in my early teens for money and usually won. There have been times that I know what card is coming up next. This was a gift handed down to me from my mom who was very much in tune with psychic phenomena. I've always been fascinated with my gift and cherish those shinning mystical moments when they occur. As a student of the art I have been gifted with incite and sensitivity. Magical mystical occurring phenomena are no strangers to me when cards are involved. I never know when I am just going to say something that might develop into a phenomaly. There,.. I just said it.
I was once I was sitting in a game that was fitting so I then did my bidding. If you think that I'm kidding check this out hope your sittin' It's all true I ain't shittin'
I was playing in a $5 limit hold-em game one weekend in Coos Bay OR. Gussies was the name of the bar and Earl was the host and owner of one of the most successful hold-em games ever. It always went 'round the clock and lots of players would play all weekend without much sleep. They had live music at night and Blackjack and Poker went 24 hours. What fun. We played at a large table in which there were lots of comic like characters in the game on this Saturday night.
The dealer in the box who was slinging the cards for this storied hand was named Brenda. She was a worthy opponent in the game and a pretty sharp distributer of the cards as a dealer. She rapidly table shuffled the deck in which one of the cards got tweaked between her thumbs. It flew up in the air and floated down from it's flight right in front of me. I picked it up. It was the 9 of diamonds. Earlier that week an associate of mine had said to me, "the nine of diamonds is the key card." He never told me why. But that was all the information I needed when I picked up the card and held it up to the table of players and said in a fatalistic voice,"The nine of diamonds is the key card and where I decide to place it will determine the next hand." I tossed it back into the deck. Brenda shuffled, cut and dealt the next hand.
After the first round of betting everyone was in. There was a raise but that didn't matter to those flop seekers. Well... the flop came A-2-5 of clubs. There was a bet and three raises. Only three hands went into the muck. Then the turn brought another Ace, a diamond. A-2-5-A was now the cards everyone had to play off of. Rhoda, the gal in the two seat had flopped a straight flush. She was the lucky holder of the 3-4 of clubs. Lou,an Elmer Fudd kinda red neck sort of a nit,that nobody liked had wired Aces in his mitt and loved how all these suckers were paying him off with his four of a kind. Or so he thought. There were also three other flushes out there in the field of players as the river came. (This was truly amazing to have three flushes, a straight flush and four aces in the same hand. I've never seen anything like this anomaly before. The nine of diamonds was truly the key card that made this all happen. With a little help from the wizzz. And Brenda.) An insignificant king of hearts completed the five cards out in the middle of the table. A-2-5-A-K the A-2-5 being clubs, were the community cards that you could play off of. All three raises on the flop, all three raises on the turn and all three raises on the river made for a healthy pot. Of coarse Rhoda, the proud holder of the straight flush won the pot leaving Lou, the jerk, wallowing in the muck and mire. Moments like this are comforting for me knowing that some power has been instilled in me to direct life's traffic when called upon. The outcome was soothing to the soul and gave me this great story that I just wrote for all of you to share in. My aim is true and my aim is you.
Stay lucky my friends Wizzzmo
I was once I was sitting in a game that was fitting so I then did my bidding. If you think that I'm kidding check this out hope your sittin' It's all true I ain't shittin'
I was playing in a $5 limit hold-em game one weekend in Coos Bay OR. Gussies was the name of the bar and Earl was the host and owner of one of the most successful hold-em games ever. It always went 'round the clock and lots of players would play all weekend without much sleep. They had live music at night and Blackjack and Poker went 24 hours. What fun. We played at a large table in which there were lots of comic like characters in the game on this Saturday night.
The dealer in the box who was slinging the cards for this storied hand was named Brenda. She was a worthy opponent in the game and a pretty sharp distributer of the cards as a dealer. She rapidly table shuffled the deck in which one of the cards got tweaked between her thumbs. It flew up in the air and floated down from it's flight right in front of me. I picked it up. It was the 9 of diamonds. Earlier that week an associate of mine had said to me, "the nine of diamonds is the key card." He never told me why. But that was all the information I needed when I picked up the card and held it up to the table of players and said in a fatalistic voice,"The nine of diamonds is the key card and where I decide to place it will determine the next hand." I tossed it back into the deck. Brenda shuffled, cut and dealt the next hand.
After the first round of betting everyone was in. There was a raise but that didn't matter to those flop seekers. Well... the flop came A-2-5 of clubs. There was a bet and three raises. Only three hands went into the muck. Then the turn brought another Ace, a diamond. A-2-5-A was now the cards everyone had to play off of. Rhoda, the gal in the two seat had flopped a straight flush. She was the lucky holder of the 3-4 of clubs. Lou,an Elmer Fudd kinda red neck sort of a nit,that nobody liked had wired Aces in his mitt and loved how all these suckers were paying him off with his four of a kind. Or so he thought. There were also three other flushes out there in the field of players as the river came. (This was truly amazing to have three flushes, a straight flush and four aces in the same hand. I've never seen anything like this anomaly before. The nine of diamonds was truly the key card that made this all happen. With a little help from the wizzz. And Brenda.) An insignificant king of hearts completed the five cards out in the middle of the table. A-2-5-A-K the A-2-5 being clubs, were the community cards that you could play off of. All three raises on the flop, all three raises on the turn and all three raises on the river made for a healthy pot. Of coarse Rhoda, the proud holder of the straight flush won the pot leaving Lou, the jerk, wallowing in the muck and mire. Moments like this are comforting for me knowing that some power has been instilled in me to direct life's traffic when called upon. The outcome was soothing to the soul and gave me this great story that I just wrote for all of you to share in. My aim is true and my aim is you.
Stay lucky my friends Wizzzmo
Monday, March 3, 2014
WIZZZ-MORRISON
Here is a jumble for you. JIM MORRISON Rearrange the letters in his name
If the doors of perception were cleansed
Everything wood appear to man as it is
William Blake
I notice that when people are joking,
They're usually dead serious
And when they're dead serious
It's usually pretty funny
Jim Morrison
Well.......Here's the answer... Spelled and read backwards nisir ojom rm
Stay strange my people Wizzzmo
THE CAVES OF JUPITER
In my vast travels through the galaxy, I came upon a place where the key to our ongoing existence is located. As I swooped on down through the dark thick atmosphere of Jupiter, I discovered a mighty force to be reckoned with. In these dark caves exists a mighty warrior who has vowed to devote his eternal existence to the absorption of pain and suffering for the good of all mankind and the universe as we know it. This being's name is Mezo Magluhi.
The universe has become more and more fragile with the growth of the human species. Emotion, pain and striving to exist freely and happily are becoming harder to deal with.This is the result of our thinning fabric of reality and it's effect on the ever increasing emotional power being projected into space. The more people. The more emotion. Thus more pain.
Our reality right now is being threatened by a relentless force that reaches out to emotion and tries to empower itself by it's attachment to a host. This connection can cause cracks in the fabric of time and what we perceive as reality. This is where Mezo Magluhi's power to absorb pain and emotion is so important to our continuance. Existing in this colloidally suspended reality as we do, makes us vulnerable to an anomaly that can crack the fabric of time and shatter our perceived reality and possibly the universe. This would be accomplished by these so called Cracknoids successfully reaching there emotionally charged host. Magluhi, absorbs this relenless pain of these Cracknoids and keeps the cracks from reaching there goal. YOU! These Snegs of Cracknoid from beyond space and time can only be stopped by this beings ability to hold them back from their driven goal. This is ultimately achieved by intensely enjoying their emotionally driven pain and absorbing it into his core. Thus rendering these Snegs powerless to reach as far as Earth and it's people.
As a race we must try to love and be loved for hate and violence can only lead to pain and emotion. It is unknown to us how long we can hold out. For humanity's vulnerability to extraneously powerful emotional displays is becoming evidently more and more frequent this century. Lay caution to the wind my fiends. Please, mellow out. Burn one with a friend. Have a beer with a redneck. Help your fellow man become enlightened to the fact that we are all in this together. Let us join forces to combat these Snegs of Cracknoid and keep them from shattering our universe.
May we all live in peace. This is our wake up call. Maybe the hippies were right.
Stay mellow my friends Wizzzmo
The universe has become more and more fragile with the growth of the human species. Emotion, pain and striving to exist freely and happily are becoming harder to deal with.This is the result of our thinning fabric of reality and it's effect on the ever increasing emotional power being projected into space. The more people. The more emotion. Thus more pain.
Our reality right now is being threatened by a relentless force that reaches out to emotion and tries to empower itself by it's attachment to a host. This connection can cause cracks in the fabric of time and what we perceive as reality. This is where Mezo Magluhi's power to absorb pain and emotion is so important to our continuance. Existing in this colloidally suspended reality as we do, makes us vulnerable to an anomaly that can crack the fabric of time and shatter our perceived reality and possibly the universe. This would be accomplished by these so called Cracknoids successfully reaching there emotionally charged host. Magluhi, absorbs this relenless pain of these Cracknoids and keeps the cracks from reaching there goal. YOU! These Snegs of Cracknoid from beyond space and time can only be stopped by this beings ability to hold them back from their driven goal. This is ultimately achieved by intensely enjoying their emotionally driven pain and absorbing it into his core. Thus rendering these Snegs powerless to reach as far as Earth and it's people.
As a race we must try to love and be loved for hate and violence can only lead to pain and emotion. It is unknown to us how long we can hold out. For humanity's vulnerability to extraneously powerful emotional displays is becoming evidently more and more frequent this century. Lay caution to the wind my fiends. Please, mellow out. Burn one with a friend. Have a beer with a redneck. Help your fellow man become enlightened to the fact that we are all in this together. Let us join forces to combat these Snegs of Cracknoid and keep them from shattering our universe.
May we all live in peace. This is our wake up call. Maybe the hippies were right.
Stay mellow my friends Wizzzmo
Sunday, March 2, 2014
" WHERE'S CARL? "
Around 1972 on one new years eve I was invited to White Lake in upstate N.Y. to attend a party at my friend Rainbow's house. This area near Monticello and close to Woodstock was an area heavily trafficked by the Mob from the 30s through the 50s. Many scalawags disappeared in this area. Some say bodies were thrown in White Lake, never to be found. Unpaid loans were a no-no and this is maybe why some may have met there demise. Who's to say? Not me!
Rainbow lived in a house that used to be a caretakers house which provided shelter for the staff of people that once ran the popular three story Hotel. Her roommates Cathy and Less were a team of exotic dancers part time. Their full time jobs, like Rainbow, were working with autistics and mentally challenged people. Some of these people were also attending the festivities planned for this new years eve and provided an interesting mix for what was to come.
Three of my friends road up with me from Yonkers and Brewster to attend. Bob, Carl, and Diane. Also Jeff and Jimmy D., two more friends drove up in a separate vehicle. Jimmy D. had some Window Pane acid (LSD) and generously passed it around for everyone to help themselves. I and Jimmy were the only ones left who hadn't taken any. Two hits remained. I put one of them on my tongue and took a drink. I was on my way to whatever was to come my way. Upon passing the final hit to Jim, the container slipped out of my hand and the last hit went in to the thick carpet. I felt bad when we couldn't find it and finally just had to give up looking for it." Sorry Jim." What could I do?
It was a white landscape we walked out into when we decided to venture over to the old Hotel. The mist was freezing all the grass that had sprouted up between the snow. Every thing was glass-like in appearance and the grass crunched when walking on it. In the distance were faint colored lights coming from the small airport. In my altered state it seemed like the Arora Borealis. We were coming on to the LSD pretty heavy when we reached the Hotel. Rainbow had the keys and let us tripping hippies inside to explore the unknown.
We formed a small group of three. Tripping partners you might say. Carl, Diane and I were all having a spooky time of it at that Hotel. All the furniture was covered with sheets. The musty smell and no lights made this all seem like a movie set from some ghost story. We frolicked for a while, then about a half an hour or so went by when I asked Diane, "WHERE"S CARL?" She said she didn't know and started calling, Carl! Carl! Where are you Carl? There was no answer, so we set out to find our buddy Carl.
We started by looking down by the lake. The lake had been frozen for quite sometime and out in the middle of it someone even left their car. There was a creaking sound coming from some area where boats were frozen into the ice. Diane, in a quivering kind of voice said," Car...r...l is that you?." No it wasn't him. We were now tripping our brains out when I said, hey... let's move on, he's definitely not down there. Good thing, but we still had no clue. We then went up to the road and headed towards town. Higher and higher we were getting. Just knowing that if Carl was this high he might wander off nature tripping and not realize how cold it was and freeze or who knows what? We then came upon some bushes that were shaking and moving like someone might be in them. I said, "Hey Carl is that you?" We paused for a response, When I said, "Diane, lets get out of here because if thats him I don't want to see him."" What in the world would he be doing in the bushes?" We were getting more and more freaked out as we went on down the road.
Then from out of the crystal-like ice covered setting appears Jeff Halsey. He was coming back from town where he had gone on a beer run. He was hoofin' down the road nearly unstoppable. He was extremely pissed that the store was closed. We shouted, "Have you seen Carl? " Sarcastically while still briskly moving down the road he shouted," "Yea, he's in the middle of the street directing traffic down town." Man was I pissed. How could he leave him there and not even care? We were freaked out even more now thinking Carl had lost it and we better get to him before anyone else does.
We then continued our quest to find Carl before the Cops did. We were really wound up for what was to come. Off the road in an abandon building with no front door, about fifty feet away from the road, came the sound of someone walking inside. I approached the dilapidated house calling out cautiously." Carl is that you?" I could here footsteps in the house as I slowly approached. Closer and closer I got to the front door. Suddenly! A scream! I turned around only to see Diane's face scrunched up in sheer terror. Looking up she screamed! "It's Carl! It's Carl!" It had looked like he was hanging from the rafters up in the attic with his head tilted sideways saying "beep beep""beep beep" His penlight was strobing on and off. On and off. I ran to her as we hugged in dreadful despair. The horror! " He's lost it, he's lost it," we cried. While we were the ones who were losing it. Then, in our panic ridden and confused state, Carl appears from the house as if nothing had happened. At least nothing happened to him."Hey guys what's happening?." He most cheerfully asked. We then all hugged and laughed knowing we were all back together. Our tripping group was now reunited and we were all safe. Like the Wizard Of Oz arm in arm in arm we made our way back to Rainbow's to celebrate the new year. Dan Hicks and his hot licks was playing on the stereo when we arrived back to the living room. I sat down and began thawing out from my ordeal that I had just survived. This music took me to a mellow place where I really needed to be. I eventually got it back together and enjoyed the rest of the evening with all the amazing people that had gathered to celebrate the new year on that crazy night in White Lake, N.Y. I will never forget this New Years Eve party for as long as I live. What a trip! What an adventure!
Stay thirsty Jeff Halsey Wizzzmo
Rainbow lived in a house that used to be a caretakers house which provided shelter for the staff of people that once ran the popular three story Hotel. Her roommates Cathy and Less were a team of exotic dancers part time. Their full time jobs, like Rainbow, were working with autistics and mentally challenged people. Some of these people were also attending the festivities planned for this new years eve and provided an interesting mix for what was to come.
Three of my friends road up with me from Yonkers and Brewster to attend. Bob, Carl, and Diane. Also Jeff and Jimmy D., two more friends drove up in a separate vehicle. Jimmy D. had some Window Pane acid (LSD) and generously passed it around for everyone to help themselves. I and Jimmy were the only ones left who hadn't taken any. Two hits remained. I put one of them on my tongue and took a drink. I was on my way to whatever was to come my way. Upon passing the final hit to Jim, the container slipped out of my hand and the last hit went in to the thick carpet. I felt bad when we couldn't find it and finally just had to give up looking for it." Sorry Jim." What could I do?
It was a white landscape we walked out into when we decided to venture over to the old Hotel. The mist was freezing all the grass that had sprouted up between the snow. Every thing was glass-like in appearance and the grass crunched when walking on it. In the distance were faint colored lights coming from the small airport. In my altered state it seemed like the Arora Borealis. We were coming on to the LSD pretty heavy when we reached the Hotel. Rainbow had the keys and let us tripping hippies inside to explore the unknown.
We formed a small group of three. Tripping partners you might say. Carl, Diane and I were all having a spooky time of it at that Hotel. All the furniture was covered with sheets. The musty smell and no lights made this all seem like a movie set from some ghost story. We frolicked for a while, then about a half an hour or so went by when I asked Diane, "WHERE"S CARL?" She said she didn't know and started calling, Carl! Carl! Where are you Carl? There was no answer, so we set out to find our buddy Carl.
We started by looking down by the lake. The lake had been frozen for quite sometime and out in the middle of it someone even left their car. There was a creaking sound coming from some area where boats were frozen into the ice. Diane, in a quivering kind of voice said," Car...r...l is that you?." No it wasn't him. We were now tripping our brains out when I said, hey... let's move on, he's definitely not down there. Good thing, but we still had no clue. We then went up to the road and headed towards town. Higher and higher we were getting. Just knowing that if Carl was this high he might wander off nature tripping and not realize how cold it was and freeze or who knows what? We then came upon some bushes that were shaking and moving like someone might be in them. I said, "Hey Carl is that you?" We paused for a response, When I said, "Diane, lets get out of here because if thats him I don't want to see him."" What in the world would he be doing in the bushes?" We were getting more and more freaked out as we went on down the road.
Then from out of the crystal-like ice covered setting appears Jeff Halsey. He was coming back from town where he had gone on a beer run. He was hoofin' down the road nearly unstoppable. He was extremely pissed that the store was closed. We shouted, "Have you seen Carl? " Sarcastically while still briskly moving down the road he shouted," "Yea, he's in the middle of the street directing traffic down town." Man was I pissed. How could he leave him there and not even care? We were freaked out even more now thinking Carl had lost it and we better get to him before anyone else does.
We then continued our quest to find Carl before the Cops did. We were really wound up for what was to come. Off the road in an abandon building with no front door, about fifty feet away from the road, came the sound of someone walking inside. I approached the dilapidated house calling out cautiously." Carl is that you?" I could here footsteps in the house as I slowly approached. Closer and closer I got to the front door. Suddenly! A scream! I turned around only to see Diane's face scrunched up in sheer terror. Looking up she screamed! "It's Carl! It's Carl!" It had looked like he was hanging from the rafters up in the attic with his head tilted sideways saying "beep beep""beep beep" His penlight was strobing on and off. On and off. I ran to her as we hugged in dreadful despair. The horror! " He's lost it, he's lost it," we cried. While we were the ones who were losing it. Then, in our panic ridden and confused state, Carl appears from the house as if nothing had happened. At least nothing happened to him."Hey guys what's happening?." He most cheerfully asked. We then all hugged and laughed knowing we were all back together. Our tripping group was now reunited and we were all safe. Like the Wizard Of Oz arm in arm in arm we made our way back to Rainbow's to celebrate the new year. Dan Hicks and his hot licks was playing on the stereo when we arrived back to the living room. I sat down and began thawing out from my ordeal that I had just survived. This music took me to a mellow place where I really needed to be. I eventually got it back together and enjoyed the rest of the evening with all the amazing people that had gathered to celebrate the new year on that crazy night in White Lake, N.Y. I will never forget this New Years Eve party for as long as I live. What a trip! What an adventure!
Stay thirsty Jeff Halsey Wizzzmo
Saturday, March 1, 2014
MY FIRST TIME SMOKING POT
I graduated from high school in 1969. Yup the class of '69. Kinda has a ring to it. Well... I thought about it but never had smoked a joint before. My good friend Carl knew this and was gonna be the first to get me stoned. Seems once you smoke pot it becomes your mission to get others stoned. Kinda like a sci-fi alien flick I once seen. He directed me to a cemetery at the bottom of Odell Ave. Right off the Sawmill River Parkway in Yonkers were I grew up. I parked my car and looked 'round and 'round. It seemed cool so I kicked back and let Carl direct. He lit up the joint he had just rolled and puffed it then passed it to me. I took a hit and held it in as directed then blew it out and waited. Carl took another hit and then passed it back to me. Carl's eyes where slits naturally, but now you could hardly see them. Funny thing was that I was feeling nothing unusual occurring in my body. By now Carl was hysterically laughing and carrying on, amazed I was straight .I smoked more and more and we finally finished the roach. Still nothing. This was amazing to Carl as he was totally ripped out of his gourd. So I started up the car and went home. After dropping off Carl I climbed the two flights of stairs that I had climbed at least three times a day since kindergarten.
My Mom was reading the paper or the Readers Digest when I opened the door. I was ripped. Climbing the stairs got my blood moving and the THC was filling in the cracks that let you know you are stoned. Or however it works. I got to my room quickly while my Mom read on. Thank God she didn't ask me to do anything for her 'cause it was ground control to Major Tom. Come in, can you here me.
My room was psychedelic with black lights and day glow paintings I had hung on my wall. There also was a large red glowing ball that my friends and I lifted from the top of a lamppost indicating a fire alarm in Mt. Vernon, a neighboring town. Being mischievous at a young age was pretty common in life and I was no exception. My Mom was always wise in her teachings. She said do not follow the crowd, believe in yourself and be a leader. Not a follower. Good words to live by but sometimes we slip. Anyway...My walls around my desk were covered in aluminum foil so as the glowing colors from the paintings would form a menagerie of colors in the crinkles of the reflective foil. This was what I was fascinated with as I stared at my wall for a long long time. This was the coolest feeling I ever felt up to that moment and my creative alarm clock had just been wound. I began my life as a pot smoker at that graveyard with my friend Carl and will probably take God's gift of ganja to my grave. My long time friend Carl passed away about five years ago. However, he lives on dearly in my memories. You'll be hearing more about my adventures with Carl and others in one of my most absolute favoritest story ever. WHERE'S CARL?
Stay Stoned my friends Wizzzmo
My Mom was reading the paper or the Readers Digest when I opened the door. I was ripped. Climbing the stairs got my blood moving and the THC was filling in the cracks that let you know you are stoned. Or however it works. I got to my room quickly while my Mom read on. Thank God she didn't ask me to do anything for her 'cause it was ground control to Major Tom. Come in, can you here me.
My room was psychedelic with black lights and day glow paintings I had hung on my wall. There also was a large red glowing ball that my friends and I lifted from the top of a lamppost indicating a fire alarm in Mt. Vernon, a neighboring town. Being mischievous at a young age was pretty common in life and I was no exception. My Mom was always wise in her teachings. She said do not follow the crowd, believe in yourself and be a leader. Not a follower. Good words to live by but sometimes we slip. Anyway...My walls around my desk were covered in aluminum foil so as the glowing colors from the paintings would form a menagerie of colors in the crinkles of the reflective foil. This was what I was fascinated with as I stared at my wall for a long long time. This was the coolest feeling I ever felt up to that moment and my creative alarm clock had just been wound. I began my life as a pot smoker at that graveyard with my friend Carl and will probably take God's gift of ganja to my grave. My long time friend Carl passed away about five years ago. However, he lives on dearly in my memories. You'll be hearing more about my adventures with Carl and others in one of my most absolute favoritest story ever. WHERE'S CARL?
Stay Stoned my friends Wizzzmo
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